Here We Go....AGAIN!

I went to the doctor and received a positive pregnancy test. I have an INCREDIBLE doctor who, like me, seemed to feel everything would be fine this time. We had absolutely no reason to think otherwise. My due date was 07/07/07! I thought this had to be a "sign" that everything was going to be okay!
We had planned a trip to Gatlingburg, TN and invited my mom to come and were planning to tell her our good news while on this trip. That's exactly what we did and, like us, she was VERY excited! With the first pregnancy I had horrible "all day" sickness and this baby was no different. But, I didn't care, it was all worth it. While on this trip I started spotting; I was about 6 weeks along. I immediately called the doctors office. The spotting, which was very minimal, went away without worry.
This was once again Christmas time. We had an ultrasound appointment scheduled the first week of December. I was still having severe sickness and felt sure that everything was fine.
As soon as the doctor showed me the ultrasound screen, I knew. Our precious little one had died. He/She measured 8 weeks and 5 days. I was 8 weeks and 6 days pregnant which meant this had just happened.
This time, anger set in! I told the doctor to turn the screen away and just let me get out of there. This was Friday afternoon which meant I couldn't have another D&C until Monday morning. That was the longest weekend of my life. I was walking around with our deceased child inside of me and I felt like I was going to lose my mind! WHY DID THIS HAPPEN AGAIN??? I wanted answers and was determined to find the problem.
After 3 agonizing days I had my 2nd D&C on Monday morning. My arms were empty and my heart ached beyond explanation. I wanted my two babies back.
Why me? Why now?
Christmas came and went. What used to be my favorite holiday had been ruined 2 years in a row. During this time I heard a song entitled, "Mary Knew". It hit me like a ton of bricks! Mary carried Jesus and reared Him knowing He would be crucified. Meaning, she would have to give Him back.....WOW! What a precious and comforting thought this was to me.

Thank you, Lord, for peace and grace. God had comforted my heart and given me assurance that I was going to be okay. My husband and I would be parents on this earth.

Once again, we were sent home to "try again".