I know this blog is 2 years or more in the making, but it seems that I am just able to gather my heart and thoughts enough to actually tell our story.....
After our 1st miscarriage we began to try again after the doctor gave us the "all clear"...which was about 2 months. That was a LONG two months. Admittedly, I was a little naive when it came to fertility and timing so I purchased a book entitled "Taking Charge of Your Fertility". The Lord was in the reading of this book as it taught me SO MUCH about myself and my fertility cycles.
I literally begged God daily for a baby and knew in my heart that He was going to give me "the desire of my heart." However, the human side of me blamed myself and thought there was something I had done wrong to cause the miscarriage. I know these are common thoughts and I tried not to blame myself. I was frantically searching for the "WHY" in all of this and always came up empty handed. BUT, I still had HOPE and FAITH that it was all going to be okay! I will never understand why.
My heart still breaks and longs for our first child and I have accepted the fact that it always will. I also KNOW that I will see this child in Heaven and I believe that the Lord will let him or her recognize me as "Mama". WOW! What a thought.....
After 6 months of trying to get pregnant again....WE DID! I was excited, but nervous. Once you have a miscarriage it robs you of some of the joy in future pregnancies.
With baby #2 on the way.....where would this journey take us?
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